All posts by jenrcab

A locked-up writer who loves coffee, tea, and chewing gum. An asian mom who lives by french parenting. A frank friend and companion who tells you right on if she likes you or not. Do not misunderstand it when she says "I like you" or "I miss you" cause it literally means that, no pun intended, just a friendly phrase from her, nothing more, nothing less.

The Secret to Small Talk

 

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Photo: StockSnap.io

 

There are times when I wish I wasn’t there within the crowd, afraid that someone will talk to me or approach me. I always lack the right words to say and I always take time to think about what to say that I often stammer. Although I have gained confidence last year, to speak up and talk to strangers, I cannot avoid that feeling of fear when a suspicious stranger comes near.

But then…

I have come across this article where you would wish you had Williams Syndrome if you were bad at small talks like me.

“I have to remind myself to stay an arm’s length away from people,” she said. “Otherwise I get too close.” –  Now, I would have said that too, even if I don’t have Williams. But those words are taken from the article.

And it said at the end:

 It’s not that they’re not awkward, it’s that they’re not afraid of being awkward. They don’t have the fear of looking foolish that holds many of us back. We’re so terrified of that one-in-100 chance of embarrassment or rejection that we avoid the 99 interactions that are more likely to be fulfilling.

I hope introverted individuals would find inspiration in this.

 

 

 

Notebook/s

fancy notebooks

My ever loving sister gave me a notebook last December 2011. Maybe that’s one reason why I love buying cute notebooks, writing some notes, then giving them off to people. Anyways. She gave me a notebook with a note written on one of the first pages. I would like to share it with you but not here. Not online. Because the internet may give us the bridge to connect, but it does not give us the chance to be up close and personal with each other.  So if you’d like one, you can send a request mail at jenrcab@gmail.com and I shall cheerfully send it to you via mail or post or however you want it to be sent. Surprises await those who mail me personally. 🙂

Susie & I

How does one deal with another? Who is older, supposed-to-be-wiser, and who is expected to understand more than you do?

I happen to know Susie, an older woman than me. I do not know where or how shall I begin about her life but I know that she wants to escalate from where she is right now. She has children, all grown up with families of their own. She claims she raised them well, but they show otherwise in many ways. And now she’s given a chance for survival–more than survival–a ladder to success and wealth. And this is a point-of-view of a woman who’s been trying to help her ever since. I hope that you read through this and I hope that you’ll help me understand them both.

 

She does what she think is right; she manages to go around with what she believes is the right path. The problem is she is doing it all wrong. I am and I want to help her through the ways I can. But how does one help someone who does not want your help at all? I mean, I think that I have been generous to her. I have extended my arms and legs for her. But she’s the one who’s always destroying our connection and she does not even show any effort to help herself or at least she’s trying so hard but she cannot move forward. She does not understand anything that I say. She does not accept anything that I say. Because I am the one who is telling her. It seems that I appear to be harmful to her. Every time I want to help her, she shuts me down. She keeps doing things on her own even if it’s wrong. She makes unnecessary moves that makes things go bad while I am on the process of making something good for her. 

I  honestly want to reach out to her but I am starting to doubt myself. I do not know if I’m right that she’s wrong or that if I have some flaws or mistakes or did I oversee all this in a wrong way? 

And from what I can see…

Susie wants to believe that she is right. She wants to believe and she’s trying her best to believe that what she is doing is great and that she’s always right, no one else is. But when she starts to see that she is somehow wrong, she reacts negatively and looks for something or someone to blame. Apparently, she has always been blaming the woman who’s got nothing to do but help her even if she’s being thrown away for the nth time now.

I would like to ask for your help on this one. Because when I was told about this, I felt like I am carrying a big, heavy rock on my shoulder that I seem to be lost and cannot seem to understand them bot. Who’s right and who’s wrong? Who should I scold and how should I deal with this?

13’th Invitationals of IPMS BA-Baguio

Happy Anniversary to me! From watching sir Chris Banania on the demo table for a week to wearing an I.D. and bein part of the IPMS BA- BAGUIO INVITATIONALS.

First of all, I would like to congratulate each and everyone for a successful event. Without your participation and cooperation our Invites would not succeed. Without your hardwork and sacrifices we won’t see the happy smiles of our fellows after the event.

As for me…I am super happy!!! I survived a year! Let this post be my moment of sharing my thoughts without your judgements. 🙂

Being part of an organization such as IPMS BA-Baguio is an achievement in its own. Entering it means you’re in it for the whole package. That whatever it is inside, you’ll have to accept every little thing. That whatever happens, you’re there to struggle or jump with joy. You can complain, once in a while, and yes you can even fight over such plastic. But I hope you knew that the moment you joined the family, it is yours to take responsibility for.

Friendship.

Mini friendships built within a large group of men. Normal. And inevitable. You cannot be close to everybody and claim them all to be your friends. Pick some dudes to guide you along the way, see if they can be your so called friends or if they are just your “acquaintances”. As for me I chose the long road of getting to know each one of them and got a bit close. I can say they are all my acquaintances, and I can count a few could-be friends. How do you know if I consider you a friend? If I bully you and vice versa. That is how sweet and simple it is.

Appreciation/Recognition

I heard some complaints about not being appreciated or recognized for one’s hard work. I feel you and if I was normal I could have complained too. But in my eyes I look at it differently. A simple smile at the end of the day, a simple pat on my shoulder and a laugh and a “good job” from anyone higher and older than I was enough for me to know that he or they, see everyone’s hard work. I don’t need to be publicly recognized. I don’t need to be given some token of gratitude or anything. I prefer to be the one behind the curtains, drinking my mule, and applauding everyone for success. I am not saying that the ones who complained are wrong. Who would not get mad if only one person gets all the glory for himself while we put our asses in a hot pot just to make the event a success, right? But as I was saying, am just stating my messy thoughts.

Work | Life | Friendship Balance

“You’re treating us like employees, not as friends. We’re friends and this is voluntary work that you should not be ordering us instead you should be asking favors.” Um, can I say something? Yes, we are friends. Yes, this is voluntary work. No salaries included. But then, there is time for everything. Shouldn’t we separate work from friendship? I mean, this may be voluntary, but it’s still work, right? And you yourself volunteered. If they treated us as employees, it only means the stuff we’re doing here is serious and needs serious minds. If they treated us as friends and they kept asking favors and not demanding or ordering us around, what do you think will happen with us and the event? Yes, some may have flaws in not cooperating or having some publicity issues, but we’re here on our own will, we wanted to be here and be part of it. So the next time you think you’re being treated as an employee, think again. 🙂

Compassion | Consideration | Orientation

I believe that everyone has flaws. We’re just human beings and everyone makes mistakes. I think that what lacks here is compassion and consideration from our leader. He may not be that expressive but I know that he is thinking about each one of us. I salute him even if he’s bossy most of the times. I think that maybe next time, we should have an orientation  before our major activities. Like, what to expect and what not to expect from our activities, and the limitations/boundaries of our roles.


If you are in a way offended by what I say, I apologize. I have no intentions of hurting you in any way. I am merely sharing my thoughts. But yet again, think about this. Why did the elders gave such responsibilities to us millennials? Why did they let someone so young lead us into this path? I think…whatever their reasons may be, we are here with a purpose. We are here to learn from each other. We are here to grow and make the impossible, possible for everyone. We could fight for all they care, but time will pass and I hope that we will all gather round the table and laugh out our petty thoughts aside. Cheers to our future activities! Cheers to a stronger bond of friendships! Cheers to survival! 😀

 

Friends Do Fight

friendship

Honestly, I do not know how to express myself today as I badly want to talk about friends and friendship. Because to me  it is as sacred as love and as deep as emotions can go. My mind can be as complicated and my words can be out of line, because this is something I cherish and really care about: Friendship.

I have a very small circle of friends. I have my innermost circle, the only three people in my life who knows me from inside out and does not need me to talk for them to know how I feel or what I am thinking. I have my inner circle, the people I keep close to my heart as I have shared some pieces of my private life. They’re just a few I can even count them within my ten fat fingers.

But what are friends anyway and how do we choose them? Who are your friends and who considers you as one even when you don’t really think and feel the same way? How do we keep them and how come we lose some of them? Why do we have friends and why does it even matter if you have one or if you don’t have any at all? Why do you need this so called “friends”?

I have learned that fighting within friends is healthy. When you fight and reconcile, your bond…your friendship becomes deeper and stronger. When you argue or when you physically fight, that is healthy too. It does not mean that when you fight, you lose them already. It’s just a matter of time when you’ll be okay again and the next thing you know, you’re laughing at the same silly jokes. Sometimes I envy those who fight and debate and argue because I have never fought with my innermost circle. I may have had those awkward moments due to shouting and we were like silent and not talking to each other at all, for a whole day. But that’s just it. After that, we’re bffs again and nothing less since then. I may not have those serious fights all friends have, but I am telling you to fight and argue once in a while. Because friendship says so. And if you do not reconcile after 3 years then you were never really that close or you were never really friends.

I have watched people come and go. I have witnessed friendship towers built and shattered into pieces. But that is normal, that is life. “Win some, lose some” they say. There are times when you have to let go because it suffocates you and you feel like dying every time you see them. But then, that is normal. In time you’ll be back and you’ll want them in your life again. If you don’t, then your bond was not that strong.

I do not know what else to say but I want to direct this to the people who might need it…

Dear You,

In friendship, you never really lose anything or anyone.  You only have Friendship Pauses and Time Outs and I-Hate-You-Now-but-I-Love-You-Tomorrow moments. You only have You-are-my-enemy-today-but-I-still-care-about-you times. My point is, no matter how big or small your fight is, if you are truly friends, you will never think that you lost your people.

You only lose someone when you stop caring and you stop believing and you stop trusting FRIENDSHIP itself. I want you to know that nobody really cares about what you think and how you feel unless you change the way you think about FRIENDSHIP and winning and losing friends. I want you to understand that sometimes you have to assert yourself first before even thinking about losing people. Cause you don’t lose people even when they’re dead.

The stubborn me would think and act and say it this way:

” I don’t care! I lose you, then so be it! There are many people out there who could be my friends. Who cares if you’re not my friend anymore? You don’t trust me? Okay. Not my problem. “

But that is just a self-defense mechanism. And if they don’t get you when you drop those words, then you were not friends to begin with. But if they understood what you meant by that, then everything will be okay. Maybe not now or not even in a week’s time, but it will be okay. Its just a Waiting Game you’ll have to play.

Yours Truly,

Jen-who-cares-about-friendship

P.S. I may be so dramatic when it comes to this topic, but please don’t be dramatic over it. I am the only one who’s supposed to be this way.

I might be rude in sharing my thoughts about fighting with friends. And I might have rambled quite a lot here, but am just stating my thoughts. I just…I don’t want you to think and feel so down about FRIENDSHIP. I have yet to share about this topic but I shall stop right now cause it’s a very long post already and I can’t wait for you guys to read this.

So…

adieu mon ami! 

 

 

 

Thank You Post

I would like to thank everyone who greeted me online because Facebook notified you so; the ones who greeted me through calls and messages; the ones who hugged and greeted me in person; and the ones who gave me unlimited gifts this year. Words are not enough to thank you sincerely. I would love to give you each a hug though time may not permit it, and others are recently M.I.A. so I hope this Thank you post would reach out to everyone out there.

What’s next?

Watch out for some individuals that I will pick for the “10 Things I Like About You” or “10 Things I Hate About You” posts these coming weeks, it’ll be a lot because I’d be picking from those people who greeted me. Why am I doing this? Because whether or not you greeted me through Facebook Notifications or you remembered my day, you are special to me.

Again, I would like to thank you all for being with me on my Birthday, virtually or personally. And may the odds be ever in your favor!

 

Vintage Beauty

On the roads that we have traveled we have gone far. Maybe further than we have imagined. We have built, we have created. More than what has been told. The world is your playground so as they say. And indeed, we have played beyond our limits. But with it came a price—a price that we all pay. As the earth cries for reprieve, we have continued to deceive—ourselves. Yes, you and me.

Here to forth we conceive of a future won with vibrant colors of deep hues and luster. Where perhaps we may escape from the dangers we have made. There we will go as here we trade. We might even seek the outside grounds for comfort; we may even dig up the holes of the earth in search for answers. What if and has been and what may not be. But the earth’s call cannot be shut down even as we turn our eyes towards the stars. For as is has been and ever will be, this is the only earth we will ever have.

But somehow have you ever thought that the answer we’re looking for has always been in front of us?  If only we dare to see.  That somehow what makes it all worthwhile was something that we left behind. Especially when we found it once more. That what has been may heretofore be of import as it has always been. That the beauty we wished to restore need not pay a price. As a shell that shines in the sand need not be of poison to the waters rise. For earth, she will always have a giving hand if only we are ready where we stand and realize that not by accumulating or using or destroying shall we find the beauty of life but only by giving. And here to forth we need to embrace what has been held of value by those who throd thence; and such value may even be valuable hence.

On the roads that we have traveled may we always remember. Not only the things that we left behind but also the past that shaped us from the start. Sift them through and see the gems, to keep and cherish as you bring them to your future; which you may use to restore and recover from the pollution in your hearts.

As you take this journey to the past with Art Lozano’s works of art, he wishes for you to see the true beauty of life. Walk with him and feel as though these vintage space has taken over you even for a little moment of your time.

– JenRcab –

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***These photos were mixed up, some taken by a staff of The Artist Space, Ayala Museum, some were taken by Mr. Darwin Guevarra, and a few taken by me. ***

 

Remnant

“I am giving you a new life where people would see your beauty even if you aren’t moving anymore, even after nature has embraced you in her arms,” Art Lozano said. 
He was inspired by his old Volks Wagon Beetle named “Baby Blue” which life he recreated in his paintings. And through this he was able to make his message reach the people. Every piece is his view of how the community looks like in the now and then, wherein the cars represents power and beauty as we see it. He wants to show the value of the things that we often overlook, the beauty of the things we leave behind. In a way, he wants to change society.

At the height of your power, you forget everything. You treat the present as if it will be forever. You deny that you are bound by space, time, and matter. You raise your head up high like an eagle perched in its nest, watching everything with a sense of ownership. You somehow whisper, “the world owes me this. It is but right for me to hold them in my hands.” 

But you have forgotten something. The highest peak when you already reached it does not go higher because of your will. The rivers will continue to flow even if you try to stop it. The world will continue on its axis whether you are here or not. The beauty of a thing still remains even if you have left it behind. And there will always be a witness to your brutality, a watcher of your every footstep. You might not even notice it, but sometimes when it gets hurt, it embraces what belongs to it from the start. You are but a tenant of its belongings. You are just borrowing what you ought to know is yours. 

At the height of your power, beware. Do not lose yourself into believing that you alone can do everything. Because you might be surprised when you realize you need a mechanic, nature already ran its course.

– JenRcab –

P.S. I also posted this as a note here. 🙂

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Gallery Ergo 2.0

Just recently, Gallery Ergo and family moved to a new place. Lucky me, I get to visit it from time to time. Forgive me for my not-so-professional way of taking photos through my phone. Harhar.

 

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work space

 

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cozy living room

 

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the Ergo magicalbox

 

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that ain’t 1/4th of Ergo’s Bulol Collection, that I guarantee you

 

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Coffee Area + Dirty Kitchen

Before, it was a laundry room. And to “not artists” this is an ordinary space for laundry. But sir Ergo and ma’am Mharge turned this space into a lovely coffee area and a dirty kitchen. The view outside is calming that makes your morning coffee perfect.

 

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I love how that light affects the whole environment

 

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Coffee Time

 

 

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One afternoon, when the breeze was cool and the sun kissed the window panes, we sat and talked with coffee, bread, butter, and singkamas.

 

I love the new place. It’s way better than Gallery Ergo 1.0… there’s so much to share and so much to talk about. And, Gallery Ergo is now near Pugad ni Art! 😀 Location: Piraso Road, Kalkalan, Pinsao Pilot, Baguio City.

A day like this is worth the hike. haha. Till next time!